


Just Trust Me

by estriel



Series: Quarantink 2020 [31]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blow Jobs, Character Study, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Dubious Consent, M/M, Past Abuse, Quarantink Challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-02-26 17:50:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23671552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/estriel/pseuds/estriel
Summary: “Just trust me, Javi,” he says. “You’ll like it, you’ll see.”Javi does trusthim, how can he not. He is here because ofhisgoodwill, after all, and his dreams depend onhim.A trust abused, in the past.A trust found, in the future.A bit of a Javi-centric character study, with a Yuzu/Javi happy end.
Relationships: Javier Fernández/Yuzuru Hanyu
Series: Quarantink 2020 [31]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1665598
Comments: 13
Kudos: 48





	Just Trust Me

**Author's Note:**

> **Warning: Mind the TAGS! The dub-con is not shown graphically, is in the past, is described briefly, and it is not between Yuzu and Javi, but please, if this is a trigger for you, steer clear. **There is a happy end, of course. 
> 
> Also, this is 100% made-up and fictional. 
> 
> Today's quarantink prompt was _trust_.

“Just trust me, Javi,” _he_ says. “You’ll like it, you’ll see.”

Javi does trust _him_, how can he not, _he _is the adult, the one with the experience, and Javi is just a kid, barely turned eighteen, what does he know, he just wants to please _him_. He is here because of _his_ goodwill, after all, and his dreams depend on _him._

So Javi nods, and goes through the motions, except he doesn’t like it one bit, the taste, the sensation, the way it makes tears spring into his eyes, the way his throat constricts, the hot cloggy bitterness when he swallows.

He never does it again after that first time, and falls out of favor, and thinks his career is over until he moves on, and finds a different kind of trust at Cricket Club.

He also moves on to women, and women only, because women are safe, soft, _easy_.

It works. It works, and works, and works… until it doesn’t. Because Javi falls in love, _really_ falls in love, and he is in love with Yuzu who – despite what certain assholes say about him behind his back – is very decidedly a man.

But maybe it is fine, maybe they can have this, this friendship, these smiles, these safe hugs and touches and – oh, and that _kiss_, that one kiss desperately captured right after Javi wins his Olympic medal. The kiss that tilts Javi’s world off axis, because suddenly he knows it will not be enough, whatever he and Yuzu have now, just like the Worlds medals and Euros medals were never enough because he wanted the one he finally got now. 

And so he – slowly, carefully – allows himself to tiptoe into the relationship, lets it spill over from friendship into something else, something wonderful and soft and actually, _really good. _

It’s slow. It’s slow and Yuzu doesn’t seem to mind, and Javi is grateful… until he’s not, until he wants more, wants it so badly he can barely see straight, because he loves Yuzu and wants _all of him_.

It seems to go well. With Yuzu’s hands on him, gentle until they’re not, until they’re fast and urgent instead, until Javi falls apart under his touch and breathes a sigh of relief because yes, he can do this, he can have this, _they _can have this. Javi holds his breath the next time, and when Yuzu asks _can I?_, hovering above the flat plane of Javi’s stomach, Javi nods and says yes – and oh, oh, it’s so different from this side, Yuzu’s eyes trained on his and his mouth working, lips pink and moist and perfect. Javi watches as Yuzu swallows, licks a droplet from the corner of his mouth, and through his breathless, blissed-out haze, Javi realizes that he wants _this_, too. This kind of power, this kind of gift to give to a lover…

And so Javi does it, the way he usually does things – not thinking too much, just delving in. He presses Yuzu back against the pillows, and kisses him, he kisses down his throat, his chest, kisses the tender insides of both his thighs. He takes a breath, and it must tremble, because Yuzu cups his chin and stops him.

  
“You okay, Javi?” he asks, and Javi nods, seeing the flushed glory of Yuzu’s arousal and wanting all of it for himself. He nods, leans down, and places a kiss to the tip of Yuzu’s erection, just a tiny taste… It makes Javi’s head spin how much he likes this, how much he loves the sound Yuzu makes, strangled and heady.

It feels perfect, Yuzu on his tongue, hot and vulnerable, the way his fingers flex against Javi’s scalp, the way he lets out a helpless cry. Javi closes his eyes, elated, and lets himself feel this, doubling his efforts, quickly rewarded by a deep groan. Yuzu’s hips buck up into Javi’s mouth, his hand tightens in Javi's hair, holding him in place for a second and –

– and Javi can’t breathe, the surge of panic sudden and nauseating, he pulls back and feels the tears flood his eyes, tears of shame and fear and disappointment all at the same time.

“Javi?” Yuzu mumbles, and props himself up on his forearms to look at Javi. “Oh no,” he says when he sees Javi’s face. “What’s wrong, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to – “

It’s the look on Yuzu’s face that seals Javi’s misery, the scared confusion in his eyes, and then Javi is crying for real, curling up on himself, certain he’s screwed up now, that Yuzu’s going to hate him…

“Shh, is okay,” he hears, a whisper against the back of his neck, and then warmth as Yuzu spoons up behind him, gently wrapping an arm around Javi’s torso. “It’s okay,” Yuzu repeats and Javi feels those same fingers, except infinitely tender now, run through his hair, drawing soothing circles against his scalp.

Later, when Javi feels like he can breathe again, when he manages to stop the tears, and works up the courage to turn around and face Yuzu, Yuzu just smiles and says: “Want to sleep now? We can talk later, if you want.”

*

It… takes a while. To talk. To admit those things.

It takes even longer to let himself be convinced to talk to someone else about this, a professional.

It takes a while. But it’s worth it. It’s so worth it… because in the end, Javi can have all he wants. He can say _yes_ when Yuzu asks if he is sure. He can make Yuzu crumble under his hands, his tongue, make him lose his mind inside Javi’s mouth. He can allow Yuzu to touch him, spread him open, lay him down on his back – the way Javi has done with him before, except in reverse, just the way Javi has been wanting to, but hadn’t dared until now. 

“Just trust me,” Yuzu says just before he guides himself in, eyes warm and honest and locked with Javi’s. He kisses Javi, a sweet slow kiss, and links his free hand with Javi’s. “Trust me.”

And Javi does.


End file.
